One Mistake
by Sacren
Summary: Okay this story is set between Fishman Island Arc and Punk Hazard. The Strawhats have stopped at a random island and things go bad for the couple. Kind of an alternate timeline kinda deal. I have no self control so the story has went from complete to inprogress.
1. Chapter 1

The morning light streamed in through the window, hitting the sleeping blonde. He opened his eyes and instantly regretted it, his head ached and the world spun. He threw his arm over his eyes hoping to make the spinning go away.

He lay there breathing slowly to try and make the nauseous feeling go away. Never again would he accept a drinking challenge from Nami. Who was he kidding he could never say no to her.

He caught a delicate and subtle scent, something a beautiful woman would wear but he knew neither of his crewmates wore it. He slowly moved his arm letting his eyes adjust to the light. As the world settled and began to focus, he could make out a figure lying next to him. Long silky black hair, her skin pale against the dark sheets she was curled up in; Sanji couldn't believe his luck to be sleeping next to such beauty.

Now he just had to hope that Zoro hadn't seen him leave with her. He had a pretty sweet deal with him, he could flirt and worship woman to his hearts desire. They kept the fact they were sleeping together was kept quiet and all of this on the promise that he would only sleep with Zoro. Well he'd definitely fucked that up now, he could only hope he hadn't found out.

He closed his eyes, trying to remember what had happened last night.

Nami had came over to him whilst he had been flirting with a group of local woman. The island had a lot of beautiful woman and Sanji had enjoyed the attention.

'Sanji we need another for the drinking game' Nami leaned over to whisper in his ear giving him a prime view down her top 'Just stay in as long as you can I'm going to make a fortune out of that lot'

Sanji jumped out his seat wiping away the blood from his nose 'Anything for you Nami-swan' he crowed rushing over to her table.

He sat down next to Zoro, it was a drinking game of course Zoro was taking part.

The guilt was beginning to take it's toll as he searched for his clothes, whilst searching he found a used condom wrapper, well at least he'd been safe. He found his suit dumped on a seat in the corner, he got dressed buttoning up his yellow shirt not bothering with the top button or tucking it in when he pulled on his trousers. He folded up his tie putting it in his pocket, as he pulled out his pack of cigarettes. He took one last look at the beautiful woman lying in the bed, he sighed and rubbed his hand over eyes; he was tired, hungover and he wasn't sure if the twisting sick feeling in his stomach was guilt, too much alcohol or both.

He placed the cigarette in his mouth leaving it unlit whilst he bought water from a nearby shop, he found a bench and sat down to smoke and drink his water. He began trying to remember more of last night, how had he ended up with…...crap he couldn't remember her name and had Zoro been there when he left with her.

Sanji's world was spinning, how could such a delicate flower drink so much and be fine; He figured that Zoro being somehow related to moss could just absorb the alcohol and be unaffected.

He decided it was time to call it quits and went back to the group of beautiful woman. Nami grinned at him, it was only her, Zoro and one other local left in the game; If Zoro won the Beris went to Nami for his debt so she was guaranteed the money at this point.

Sitting with the ladies he drank more and the world became blurrier, he lost track of time and drinks. He felt the sensation of a hand slowly caressing his leg, a beautiful whisper in his ear promising so much if he went back to her place. Part of him so badly wanted to refuse, he was with Zoro as much as that was a secret; Zoro had been loyal the two years they had been apart and had believed Sanji, when he had claimed the same. It had been the truth of course but Zoro didn't need to know about the island he had been on, just as he turned to say no, her hand moved to his groin and her mouth was on his. Sanji's worries vanished, he happily followed his angel as she left the bar, not even the flash of green he saw at the bar could affect him now.

God-dammit Zoro had been there when he'd left, and he hadn't even been subtle about it. So lying to him wasn't an option, he would just have to try and explain, maybe promise never to drink that much again. He sighed and ran his hand through hair, he thought about how tough Zoro had been when Usopp had challenged Luffy; He was going to have to beg forgiveness to get the Marimo to even consider forgiving him. Sanji's chest ached at the realisation that he and Zoro were probably over; Zoro was one of the most loyal people he had ever met and he would…..had sacrificed himself for the crew. Sanji shuddered remembering waking up and finding him barely alive, that should have been him if Zoro hadn't knocked him out. They'd barely had anytime together before they had been separated by Kuma, two years he'd waited to see him again.

Sanji let his head fall into his hands as panic began to set in, no he wouldn't let it end this way. They were going to be setting off today, Zoro would be trapped on the ship with him; He would apologise as much as was needed, he would even promise to tell the crew about him. Sanji stood up with a new conviction he could fix this, he would fix this. He stubbed out his cigarette and headed for the Thousand Sunny.

When he arrived at the ship he picked out a clean suit, this time he choose a grey shirt with a bluey grey tie. He went for a shower, got himself dressed back to his immaculate standards and dried his hair so it sat perfectly over his eye. When he returned to the deck, the Sunny was already sailing, Luffy was sitting on the lions head staring at the ocean. Sanji lit a new cigarette on his way to the kitchen to make a late lunch for the crew, he found it odd that Luffy wasn't jumping around demanding meat; he guessed Nami had fed him before they boarded as he obviously hadn't been here to make breakfast.

When lunch was ready Sanji called for the crew to come and eat, as the table filled with the crew, there was two noticeable absences. Brook was on watch, Sanji had taken him his food whilst he waited for the others. No Zoro made Sanji's stomach twist, he must be avoiding him but the absence that made everyone round the table tense was Luffy. Never had Sanji known him to skip a meal, he had seen him eating in his sleep. The crew abandoned their meals and went out to find their Captain, he was still on the lion head.

'Luffy are you okay?' Usopp called up to his captain.

When Luffy didn't respond it was Robin who asked next

'Where is Kenshi-san?'

Everyone stared at Robin until Luffy answered.

'He's left' Luffy still kept staring ahead

Sanji could feel the panic come rushing back, his chest tightened and he fought to keep his breathing normal.

'What do you mean? Luffy if you left him on that island just go back and get him'

'He's not on the island anymore' Luffy lowered his hat over his eyes 'He left last night on another boat'

Chopper looked like he was about to cry. What the hell was happening?

'You're kidding right Luffy' Even Usopp sounded panicked

'Luffy explain what's going on?' Nami demanded

'He came to me last night, told me he couldn't stay on the ship anymore. He wouldn't tell me why or what had happened.' He could see Luffy tensing up 'I couldn't get him to stay, so I told him he would always be my first mate and that when he was ready he should come back.'

Sanji couldn't be sure but he was pretty sure Luffy was crying, realising their Captain wasn't lying seemed to set everyone else off. Sanji fought off the overwhelming sadness he needed to talk to Luffy, maybe he could put this right.

The rest of the crew headed to the kitchen to eat their abandoned food, Sanji stayed back. 'Luffy can we talk?

Luffy finally came down, his eyes red from crying but serious. He held Sanji's shoulder and pulled him close enough to whisper into Sanji's ear, his grip was like iron.

'I know what you're going to say, Zoro told me everything' Luffy's grip tightened 'He told me not to tell anyone else and to' Luffy paused 'He said he had to go because he would hurt you and out of all of us he's the only one who can complete his dream alone' Luffy let go of his shoulder and let his head fall against Sanji's shoulder. 'He's my nakama, I want him back. He has to come back Sanji' He could feel Luffy crying into his shoulder and finally even Sanji couldn't hold back anymore.

'I'm sorry Luffy please, let me try and fix this.' he begged. His chest felt like it was trying to stop him breathing as guilt and anxiety crushed in on him.

Someday Sanji swore to himself he would find his shitty swordsman and no matter what it cost him, he would give Luffy back his first mate.


	2. Chapter 2

He leant back in his chair staring at the ceiling in his kitchen, the trail of smoke from the cigarette in his hand was joining the growing cloud above him. He should probably stop or at least open a window, but he had neither the will power nor the energy to do either. His emotions were currently bouncing between self pity and anger. One minute he deserved everything coming to him, the crew should toss him off the ship on some island, forget about him and find their first mate without him. Then he would bounce to how the fuck could Zoro do this, not only to him but to Luffy and the crew, yes he had fucked up but he hadn't even had a chance to explain himself. Then back to self pity, it was his fault he had cheated on someone as amazingly loyal as Zoro, that it should be him setting sail on some unknown ship in the night not their swordsman.

He had been sitting like this for hours now, drinking sake and beer, thinking of his Marimo. After his talk with Luffy he had brought him to the table to eat, fuck up or not no one went hungry whilst he was around. The meal had been eaten in morose silence, broken only by a few questions as to why Zoro would do this, why wouldn't he say goodbye, didn't he care about them anymore; the last one came from Chopper and had torn Sanji apart inside, Luffy hadn't given anything away, no telling comments, no conspiratorial glanced. He as Sanji saw it was fulfilling his first mates last request, protecting the stupid cheating bastard that he was and now he was back to self pity.

He sighed leaned forward and grabbed his beer, drinking deeply, not his normal choice to drink but he was going the whole nine yards with Zoro's drinks of choice. He had a plan tonight he was going to get really really drunk and feel sorry for himself, then tomorrow he would get himself together as much for himself as for Luffy.

He heard the kitchen door open, it wasn't time for dinner yet, he'd put something in the slow cooker for the crew. He planned to feed them then go somewhere else to feel sorry for himself. He looked up as Franky sat down at the table next to him, the cyborg looked surprisingly serious.

'Hey little bro, Robin sent me to talk to you?'

'Bout what?' he was pretty drunk already or he would have probably been able to guess why.

'About you cheating on Zoro last night and him disappearing'

Sanji felt the blood drain from his face, his stomach knotted and threatened to empty itself. They knew.

'Look I'm not here to judge, Robin just told me that'd you would probably need a manly chat' the cyborg grinned but he could feel it was forced

'How do you know?' his voice was quiet, guilt was now over taking everything else.Leaving him feeling hollow.

'Well I could tell as soon as I joined, Robin told me you got together at some point on Sky Island'

Sanji felt the cigarette fall from his mouth, it had burned down anyway, so he put it in the ashtray and lit another.

'We're older we notice things the others don't, like Zoro's reaction anytime you flirted with the girls' Talking to Franky without the giant cyborg making jokes and doing his Super felt weird but he guessed even Franky could be serious when needed to, or at least when told to by Robin.

Sanji's face screwed up in confusion, he'd never noticed anything and he had looked.

The older man noticing his confusion continued.

'Everytime without fail his hand would go to Kitetsu, nothing on his face, he wouldn't even tense up, I guess the sword and the lack of any emotion gave it away in the end.'

How could he have not noticed? He wanted to go back in time and kick some sense into himself, of course Zoro wouldn't have liked him flirting no matter what the stupid moss head said out loud.

'Last night Robin was in the bar with you guys, she saw you leave, she says Zoro almost went after you but stopped' Franky paused 'He asked Robin to show him where the ship was, look Sanji-bro you hurt him bad, I've never seen him look so broken' Franky took a deep breath to calm himself 'I was on the ship with Luffy when Robin brought him back, he left again with Luffy and the next time we saw Luffy was at lunch'

Sanji felt the last of his fight go, he hated himself, he hated that part of him that took over last night and hurt the person he…...did he love the Marimo. Why couldn't he have realised how much the moss head meant to him whilst he was here?

'How can I fix this?' he looked at the older man desperately hoping he had the answers.

Franky looked thoughtful 'We'll find him I know we will, he's nakama and Luffy won't rest until we get him back. When the time comes you just need to be ready to convince him to stay.'

Sanji could feel the tears streaming down his face 'I will, I don't know why Luffy is even letting me stay, it should be me off alone not Zoro'

He felt the heavy metal of Franky's hand on his shoulder 'Look, Luffy chose to keep you and Zoro wanted you to stay, stop torturing yourself. You made a mistake now man up and handle the consequences.'

Sanji nodded he stubbed out his cigarette, it had burned down whilst he was caught up in his conversation.

He stood up 'Dinners in the slow cooker, make sure everyone eats' he took a deep breath to steady himself 'I'm going to bed, when I wake up I'll be the nakama Luffy needs me to be'

He didn't wait for a response from the cyborg, he walked as steadily as he could out of the kitchen and down the stairs to the men's quarters. Not bothering to change, he kicked his shoes off and clambered into his hammock. He lay staring at the wall trying to ignore the hammock that was going to lay empty tonight, he fought off that train of thought.

Instead he began planning on how to keep his Marimo once they found him, his chest ached and he fought the nausea down. He would do anything for Zoro, why did it take him this long to notice, why couldn't he have worked this out during the two years away. He let out a sigh, probably because the two years apart had been full of training and learning and he'd known that at the end of it he would be reunited with his crew.

Now though he had to work on faith that their path would cross with their lost swordsman. He would find the Marimo and he would convince him to stay. He kept repeating that in his head until slowly he began to believe it, finally with some hope growing in him, he let the darkness win and he fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Sanji stood against the railing on the Thousand Sunny, staring at the ocean, between it and the nicotine he was the calmest he'd been since Zoro had disappeared. The first morning had been the hardest.

 _As the darkness receded, the pain came back, not just the pain of the hangover but the ache in his chest, that mixture of guilt and sadness. He got out of his hammock and looked at his wrinkled suit, he fought the temptation to just wear it but he had promised himself that he'd be "normal" Sanji today so a clean suit and a shower were in order. He picked out a nice grey shirt and a light bluey grey tie and went to the boys bathroom, the steaming hot shower helped wash away some of the hangover but none of the guilt. He dried himself off, shaved, got dressed and finished it off with some after shave. He looked at himself in the mirror there was dark bags under his eyes but he could blame that on his hangover, he looked as miserable on the outside as he felt inside. He practiced his smile until he had it looking natural again, he finished up by combing his hair neatly over his eye and left the bathroom. He went into his kitchen, pleasantly surprised that someone had cleaned up the kitchen._

 _He began cooking breakfast and when his beautiful ladies arrived, he crooned over them and made them feel like the most important people in the world. All the while trying to stop his from falling apart, he kept his smile in place hoping his nakama wouldn't see what he was hiding behind it. Luffy, Franky and Robin knew but they said nothing and acted as they normally would. Everyone was trying to act as though there wasn't a huge void at the table, guilt began bubbling up again threatening to break his mask. Instead he concentrated on Nami and Robin, as he told them how radiant they looked today, he felt his stomach twist and the nauseous feeling coming back as he remembered what Franky had said. He excused himself from the table and went into the crow's nest to smoke, he tried to convince himself that it was just to smoke in peace and not because he missed a certain exercise obsessive swordsman._

He watched as the island of Punk Hazard disappeared into the distance, Law was busy talking to the crew but Sanji didn't care. To be honest he didn't care about much nowadays, he had saved some marines at the island and he had even helped save Tashigi, though she got badly injured in a later fight. Usually saving a beautiful woman left him on a high, made him feel like a prince but he just felt worn out and tired. It had been almost a month since Zoro had disappeared and Sanji still felt the same he had that first morning, hiding how he felt from his nakama, always one step away from breaking. He took a draw of his cigarette as he felt a presence behind him.

'How are you feeling Sanji?' it was Robin

He spun round with the forced smile on his face. 'Robin-chwan you shouldn't worry your beautiful self about me, I'm fine'

She looked at him sternly 'You're lying to me cook-san'

He paused his face fell and the smile faltered.

'I'm getting by' he looked at Robin for the first time letting the pain through on his face 'I guess this is my punishment until we find him'

He saw Usopp walking his way and quickly put his mask back in place before more people caught on.

Robin placed her hand on his shoulder, usually her gentle caress would have been enough to cause hearts to fly from his eyes and have Chopper panicking over his nose bleed, instead it just made his chest ache more at affection he felt he didn't deserve.

'Don't you think you've punished yourself enough. Maybe you should speak to Chopper if you can't work it out yourself, it's been a month Sanji and you're still as unstable as the first day.'

He smiled at her not his fake everything is ok one but a genuine one as thanks for his friends concern.

Not a hope in hell was he going to talk to Chopper though, the poor reindeer had cried several times since Zoro had left, he had always been really close to him.

Usopp came over looking terrified, not exactly a new look on him. Fake smile safely in place he turned to the sharpshooter.

'Law's just blackmailed Doflamingo' he noticed that the tears on Usopp's face 'He's going to get us all killed'

Sanji sighed at the melodramatic crew-mate.

'So where we headed then?' why after all this time Usopp got surprised or scared with them upsetting powerful people he had no clue.

Usopp sighed realising he wasn't getting sympathy here. He muttered Dressrosa and wandered off to try his luck with Brook.

* * *

ok so to respond to the guest review.

1\. The reason he's thinking all that super nice stuff about Zoro is the same reason when people have broke up they talk about how amazing there partner was ignoring all the bad stuff. Same idea as when someone dies and everyone talks about how great they were.

2\. He was really really drunk, he made a mistake (hence stories name) also no cheating = no story

3\. As for Zoro leaving that gets explained more later. Sanji will cheer up later, he just having a hard time atm.

4\. wish it wasn't a guest review so I could know if your opinion changes nearer the end and yea came across as a little mean but I didn't have to approve it

This story is based of a song ('look on down from the bridge') at the end of an episode of a show, and damn that episode made me miserable.

Any more questions or opinion fell free to message.

*Wanders off to finish another story*


	4. Chapter 4

Sanji was standing staring at the ocean, watching the dark waves lapping against the ship left him in an almost meditative state, so when Chopper came up behind him he was slightly startled.

'Um Sanji, I was wondering if we could talk, you know in the medical bay' he sounded nervous.

Sanji felt his stomach drop, had Robin spoken to him before dinner?

He nodded and followed the reindeer across the deck and into his room.

There was a bed to the side but Sanji figured he didn't need to go on that so took the seat next to Choppers desk, as the reindeer took the seat at the desk.

'So uh what's up Chopper?' he had a feeling he knew where this was going but he could hope that maybe it was something else.

'I've been worried about you since Zoro left, I was hoping you'd get better on your own or come to me yourself but there's no more time with us arriving at Dressrosa soon' Chopper sounded genuinely worried about him.

'I'm fine Chopper' he plastered a grin in place.

He didn't look convinced 'Then answer a few questions, and no lying Sanji I'll be able to tell'

Sanji nodded and Chopper pulled out a notepad and pen.

'How have you been sleeping recently?' Chopper looked up from his notepad and his eyes locked onto Sanji's.

He sighed, he hated lying to his nakama and Chopper wasn't going to accept anything but the truth anyway.

'Not well, I'm getting a few hours if I'm lucky' it wasn't like he didn't try, what he wouldn't do for his brain to just give up for one night.

'Can you tell me why?' the medic was writing away in his book.

He sat back in his seat and let his head fall back so that he was staring at the ceiling.

'When I try to get some sleep' he let out a deep breath 'When I close my eyes it's' he fought round the tiredness trying to find the right words 'every bad memory, every fuck up big or small runs through my head' he felt his body tense 'Not just what happened with Zoro but things from when I was a kid and I can't shut it off'

It was as though there was a second voice in his head, during the day it questioned his self worth. Did his nakama need him or could anybody that could feed the Captain replace him? Sometimes it would point out how easy it would be for him to leave and nobody would even notice.

'What happened with Zoro? And other than when you're trying to sleep do you have negative thoughts?' he could still hear him writing away.

'I cheated on him, he left and yes I have them all day' fuck it he'd cut straight to the point.

'You two were in a relationship?' he had to give Chopper kudos for being professional, no over the top reaction.

'Yea'

'For how long?'

Sanji stared at the wooden beams above him, tempted to just let his mind drift into the pattern in the wood; Chopper was trying to help so he forced himself to focus, even though it was so difficult recently.

'Since Skypiea' it seemed like an eternity ago they were all together on the Going Merry.

'You think that's why Zoro left?'

Sanji nodded he knew it was.

'You blame yourself?'

Sanji lifted his head to look at Chopper, he looked at the reindeer in confusion. There was no blame on the medic's face only….pity? He wasn't sure.

'Of course it's my fault'

'It's not' the medics dark eyes locked with his again 'Zoro's an adult, he made his decision. Luffy seems pretty certain he'll come back but if he doesn't that's his decision not your responsibility'

'But he wouldn't have left if I hadn't cheated' Sanji felt the tension building up again 'I did something stupid and it hurt him'

'You didn't do it on purpose though did you?'

He shook his head vigorously god no he would never hurt someone he loved on purpose. If only he'd realised how he'd felt earlier, he'd came close at Thriller Bark. It had been a mixture of relief and anger when he'd found Zoro alive. Relief that he'd survived but he had felt put out that Zoro hadn't trusted him to take his place and protect his and the others dreams. Then as he'd started to calm down and he and Zoro had gone back to a version of their normal, they'd ran into Kuma again.

'People make mistakes Sanji, it's part of being human. What counts is what you do after. Do you think he'd leave just so that you could break down like this'

Sanji shook his head again, no they may argue and fight but they would never intentionally hurt each other. Zoro had no more planned this than he had.

'You're showing all the signs of being depressed Sanji, I think a big part of that is you've shut down and not talked to anyone' Chopper wrote a bit more in his note book 'I'm in charge of the health of the crew, that's not just about stitching you guys up after a fight or in some cases fixing constantly pulled stitches'

Sanji gave a small smile and a chuckle, he swore Chopper would tie Zoro up if he thought it would stop him from working out and pulling his stitches.

'I'm going to give you some medicine, usually these take about three weeks to work but the ones I've made work in a few hours' the medic grinned looking happy at his accomplishment.

'I'd expect nothing less of the Straw Hats amazing doctor' he smiled at Chopper.

'That doesn't make me happy you bastard' he replied wiggling in his seat.

Sanji found himself laughing hard for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

He felt some of the dark weight lifting, he'd been so focused on the negative that he had forgotten the positives. He was so used to getting by alone that he hadn't saw that his nakama wanted to help.

'I was so worried with how upset you'd been that you'd hate me' he hadn't meant to say that out loud.

'You're my nakama Sanji, I'd be just as upset if anything happened to you'

Chopper got up and looked around his shelf's, finally pulling out a bottle and handing it to Sanji

'Take one a day for a month and I'll decide where to go from there' Chopper eyed the label 'No drinking alcohol though'

Sanji let out a small chuckle 'Don't worry I don't think I want to drink again anytime soon'

And when he did finally feel like drinking again he was never going to let himself get that drunk again.

'Now the tablets rebalance the neurotransmitters in your brain, they don't make you happy they just make it so that you can be' Chopper paused 'It will let you challenge your negative thoughts, you need to tell them they're wrong and for sleep you need to focus on it all being in the past, there's nothing you can do now but I'll give you breathing exercises to help.'

He took the glass of water that Chopper was offering and took one of the tablets out of the bottle and downing it.

He handed the glass back and Chopper smiled at him.

'Now Sanji, what do you want to talk about?'

Sanji let out a sigh and shifted into his seat to get more comfortable, where should he start.

* * *

Sorry it's taken so long to write, I wasn't in the mood to write it and anytime I forced myself it came out really bad.

Disclaimer - mental health is different for everyone. Negative thoughts are real and I've built the ones here on three different people's explanations and the information in my counselling book. The rest is built around different treatment types but please remember this is just a story.


End file.
